In-laws offer to pay for newly weds first-class tickets to their honeymoon in Portugal, son-in-law wants cash instead: 'It is $6,200 to upgrade us. I am begging my wife to ask for the cash.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Mar 22, 2026 12:00 PM EDT

What kind of bonehead rejects a generous gift and asks for cash? 

Gift-giving is one of the most criticized love languages. Some people find it shallow to place more value on buying someone a present than on spending time with them, but that fundamentally misunderstands the value of gift-giving. You don't have to buy someone something to be a gift-giver. Gift giving can mean baking cookies and giving them to your friends. It can mean giving someone a penny you found on the ground because it was from the year they were born. Gift giving doesn't have to cost you anything. It's more about telling the people around you that you're thinking about them and care about them than it is about sinking a lot of dough into a material object. If you're able to find a gift your friend or family member truly loves, it's a sign you're a good listener who understands them well. 

Not everybody likes to give and receive material gifts, and that's okay, too! Some people would prefer an experience over an object that will sit in their house for years, and that is a perfectly valid preference! Preferring experiences over traditional gifts doesn't mean you should tell someone, "Sorry, I prefer experiences!" 

The son-in-law in this story has been offered a very generous gift from his in-laws: a free upgrade to first class on his honeymoon to Portugal! While his wife appreciates this gift, he thinks they should ask his in-laws for cash instead. If that's not bad taste, then I don't know what is. 

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  • Cute tranquil young man and his smiling beautiful dark-haired girlfriend in eyeglasses sitting in the first class cabin
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A young newlywed couple sits together in first class, holding gifts and flowers from the airline.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for being mad my in laws want to upgrade our plane tickets to first class?

    My wife and I are going to Portugal for my birthday. My in- laws told my wife they want to upgrade our departing plane tickets from premium economy to first class.
    via u/New_Mushroom_5272
  • That is $6,200 to upgrade us. I think that is a complete waste of money for a seven hour flight.
    via u/New_Mushroom_5272
  • I am begging my wife to ask for the cash because it would more than pay for our whole trip.
    via u/New_Mushroom_5272
  • White buildings near body of water
    via Nick Karvounis

    The beautiful architecture of Porto, Portugal.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She called me ungrateful and is telling me I need to process the upgrade in the app.
    via u/New_Mushroom_5272
  • AITA? Edit: I want to add that I my first reaction to my wife was along the lines of "wow!
    via u/New_Mushroom_5272
  • That's generous of them, thanks for thinking of us". And then I looked up the upgrade cost.
    via u/New_Mushroom_5272
  • And then opined To my wife that they could spend less money to pay for the Airbnb or something.
    via u/New_Mushroom_5272
  • A tall building with balconies and balconies on the balconies
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    Apartments in Lisbon that could very well be Airbnbs. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • (wife is out of town visiting her parents)
    via u/New_Mushroom_5272
  • Certain-Bath-1941 Yes YTA where are your manners? You don't get to ask for the cash. If you don't want it, that's one thing but I hope your wife takes it and leaves you in economy. Also, say thank you. You're being very ride
    via u/Certain-Bath-1941
  • Joice_Craglarg YTJ. They're doing something very generous for you, and not only are you ungrateful, you seem to think you can reject their gift and make them give you something else. What a weird thing to do. You deserve neither. Ask your wife how to be more gracious.
    via u/Joice_Craglarg
  • youknowimright25 Yta. Huge. You aren't paying for it. And you are not just entitled to the money.
    via u/youknowimright25
  • RangeExpress3960 Yes, you are. Let them do it, it's their money. Not yours.
    via u/RangeExpress3960
  • Creepy Push8629 YTA. They are offering a specific gift and you can accept or not. Asking for the cash is a great way to not get any future gifts. This is a vacation. Not a need. It's not like they are offering you a steak and lobster dinner and you're asking for the money to buy groceries so you can eat all week but would otherwise go hungry. You made the suggestion to your gf and she said no, now you need to drop it. She knows her parents.
    via u/Creepy_Push8629
  • Riptorn420 NTJ for being mad that they are spending money but YTJ for being mad at how they are spending the money on you. Either accept or decline but don't ask them to give you the money instead.
    via u/Riptorn420
  • NoTyrantSaurus YTJ. Maybe they have airline mile upgrades or expiring credits, so this isn't really cash out of pocket?
    via u/NoTyrantSaurus
  • IntrovertSuperHero Lots of people use points or miles for flight upgrades so they may not even have cash anyway. Make a personal new year (birthday) resolution to be more grateful
    via u/IntrovertSuperHero
  • walking_you_home You're thinking practically, trying to make the best of the money and the trip. But you've gotta remind yourself, it's not your money to make decisions about. You may be coming out of a place of familiarity as you would say to your parents but you've gotta keep up a certain politeness and decorum with the in-laws because your intentions are not what they see. It can look quite disrespectful to call their decision making a waste of money, that too a gift to you.
    via u/walking_you_home
  • hunkyboy46511 Yes, you're an ah le. Just say "Thank you soooo much!" And enjoy your trip. You a h le. Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
    via u/hunkyboy46511

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Tags

portugal cash first class ticket honeymoon wife son in law father in law in laws mother in law newly weds airplane
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